Building a Company Culture That Encourages Feedback

Senior leaders often tell me: “We have a great culture. People here are kind, relational, and genuinely care about one another. But … we’re not very good at giving direct feedback.” They know kindness fuels harmony, but also that harmony can slip into avoidance. Without candor, people don’t improve as quickly as they need to. Frustration festers. Performance stagnates. So the natural question becomes: How can we get our people to be more courageous and skillful at giving feedback? It’s a fair question. But here’s the counterintuitive truth: Trying to make everyone braver and better at giving feedback is often the hardest possible entry point. Why? Because the real bottleneck usually isn’t skill or courage; it’s their uncertainty about whether it’s truly welcome. Even skilled, well-intentioned colleagues hesitate if they’re unsure whether their input will be welcome. Layer on time pressure and power dynamics, and feedback that could be valuable is more likely to stay unspoken. These aren’t failures of courage or competence; they’re rational responses to anticipating many possible ways that their feedback won’t land well. Instead of pushing people to be bolder givers, what if we made it easier for them to respond to clear, compelling invitations from feedback seekers? This is the core idea behind what I call an “ask-first” feedback culture: a workplace where people are supported and expected to routinely seek out input early and often. The Advantages of an Ask-First Feedback Culture There are a number of benefits to encouraging your employees to seek out feedback. For one, asking transforms feedback into a co-created conversation, not a one-way performance review. As Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone explain in Thanks for the Feedback, feedback works best when receivers are in the driver’s seat. In fact, they argue, the receiver always has more control than we think because it’s the receiver who decides what to hear, how to interpret it, and whether to use it. Research on feedback-seeking behavior shows that people who ask for input receive more actionable insight and improve relationships. One meta-analysis found that feedback-seeking correlates strongly with task performance, especially when individuals frame their questions intentionally. Asking doesn’t just increase the amount of feedback; it raises the quality. When someone proactively seeks input, it reduces doubt for the giver. They trust the feedback will be received as a gift, not an unwelcome judgment. Asking also helps feedback givers be more skillful. Consider the difference between these two scenarios. In one, a leader ends a meeting with: “Okay, good meeting. Feel free to follow up with any thoughts.” Silence follows. In another, the leader asks: “What’s one thing I could do differently to make our next meeting 10% more effective?” Suddenly, ideas flow: send materials earlier, shorten the agenda, balance airtime better. The specific ask unlocks insights that would otherwise stay hidden. The same principle applies in coaching. Imagine a manager telling their direct report: “You could be more strategic in your client management.” The advice lands vaguely, leaving the employee unsure what to do. Now flip it: The employee asks, “What’s one way I could have approached that client problem differently?” The manager now has a clear opening to give targeted, practical advice. Perhaps the greatest benefit is cultural. When people across an organization regularly ask each other for input, it sets a powerful norm: We value constant learning more than perfection. This mindset shift cascades: modeling humility, reducing stigma around mistakes, and granting permission to be vulnerable. These practices don’t just elicit insight, they signal values. They say: Here, we ask. Here, we learn. Here, we grow. How to Build an Ask-First Culture Creating a culture where people skillfully seek out input doesn’t happen by accident. It requires building capability, modeling and rewarding the behavior, and embedding it into the fabric of how work gets done. Here are four practical strategies to make it happen: 1. Teach people how to ask. Asking skillfully is not an innate capability. Without guidance, people tend to rely on vague, closed, or performative prompts (“Any feedback?” “Was that okay?”), which rarely generate useful responses. Help your team build this muscle by offering concrete examples and structured practice. For instance: Be specific: “What’s one thing I could improve in how I handled that client objection?” Name your learning goal: “I’m working on being more concise in presentations—can you flag anything that felt long-winded?” Invite nuance: “Where did my approach work—and where might it have caused friction?” Use follow-ups: “Can you say more?” or “What might that look like in action?” Like coaching or presenting, this is a skill worth institutionalizing: through onboarding, manager training, and team development. In a noisy workplace, feedback rarely volunteers itself; it must be invited with care and clarity. 2. Model asking at the top. Leaders set the tone. When senior leaders ask for input early and often, they make curious questions contagious. And just as important as asking is what follows: how they respond, what they share back, and how they act on it. 3. Recognize and reward asking. If you want people to ask, celebrate when they do. Call out thoughtful questions in debriefs. Highlight input-seeking in promotions. Treat asking not as weakness but as excellence. In a world where knowledge is commoditized, better questions—not just better answers—create the edge. 4. Embed asking into routines. Don’t wait for review season. Build “ask-first” prompts into everyday rhythms. At Transcend, the organization I co-founded, we use a practice called the two-by-two: twice a year, every employee asks colleagues to share two things they’re doing well and two they could improve, with examples in both cases. This ritual normalizes feedback and surfaces specifics that improve performance and strengthen relationships. Great learning organizations don’t just talk about feedback; they engineer moments to ask for it. In an ask-first culture, people don’t wait for others to summon courage to give feedback. They encourage candor through the questions they ask. Asking turns feedback from a rare event into a daily habit, from a source of tension into a source of advantage. Cultures that master this shift gain a competitive superpower. Because in the end, the organizations that learn fastest are not the ones that give the most feedback. They’re the ones that ask for it first. More Resources How Leaders Can Get the Feedback They Need to Grow Why Feedback Can Make Work More Meaningful How to Ask for the Feedback You Really Need Why Asking for Advice Is More Effective Than Asking for Feedback The Essentials: Getting the Feedback You Need (podcast episode)

Building a Company Culture That Encourages Feedback

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