A Guide to Becoming a Better Ally

One question that often comes up in DEI discussions is: Can individuals really bridge the systemic inequities that continue to plague our workspaces? For those of us who don’t hold positional power, what can we do to drive change? Here’s the answer: While leadership teams have a big role to play, inclusion is not just a trickle-down effect. Experts say that the small, seemingly mundane interactions we engage in every day at work can also make an impact. Water cooler chats, email threads, and weekly meetings are all spaces where inclusive behaviors can be modeled and practiced. That means, each of us has the agency to create an environment that is safe, where everyone feels respected and valued, and where people can be themselves without fear or reprimand. This starts with practicing allyship, or strategically helping fight injustice and promoting equity through public acts of solidarity and advocacy. Allyship requires us to become aware of our relative privilege — even within a marginalized community — and make conscious efforts to undo our own biases, champion causes that matter, and act fairly as colleagues and emerging leaders. To help you better understand what allyship looks like and how to become better at it, we’ve put together a short guide. 1) Understand what lack of privilege looks like at work. Bias is not limited to microaggressions or offensive comments made to others. There are different ways in which stigma and discrimination can show up for people from marginalized identities. Many marginalized communities, for example, face obstacles that make it hard for them to show up as their full selves at work. Educating yourself on these barriers is the first step to becoming an ally. People from marginalized groups are likely to experience “stereotype threat.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by HBR Ascend (@hbrascend) In “When You’re the Only BIPOC in the Room,” Bruce Jackson, an executive at Microsoft, recounts his experience being one of the few Black men on his team. He explains how isolating work can be for people of color who don’t see themselves represented among their peers or on leadership teams. It can also result in these groups experiencing what researchers call “stereotype threats” — the frustration and anxiety that accompanies being judged by negative stereotypes associated with a social group or community. Jackson adds that this experience often results in people feeling pressure to “blend in” or code switch, which takes a heavy mental toll. As an ally, you can help by unlearning the biased assumptions you may hold about social, racial, or ethnic groups different than your own. According to Jackson, “Understanding what disparity is, how it affects individuals from marginalized communities, and what steps you can take as a person with the privilege to support your peers is important.” Being “different” often comes with the pressure to “code-switch.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by HBR Ascend (@hbrascend) At work, code-switching often looks like people from marginalized communities adjusting their style of speech, appearance, behavior, or expression in ways that will make the majority group feel comfortable in exchange for fair treatment and equal opportunities. It’s a double-edged sword, according to authors AiLun Ku and Ray Reyes. In “Networking as a First-Generation Student Can Be Hard. Here’s How to Get Started,” they write that code-switching can be a survival tool for people from marginalized backgrounds “to ensure safety, acceptance, and growth at work.” However, it can also pressure people to erase their identities and assimilate into dominant norms around how to look, talk, conduct themselves, and behave. For many, code-switching can bring up an uncomfortable tension: How do you be your authentic self when it doesn’t feel safe to do so? Some marginalized identities may be invisible in a person’s presentation. View this post on Instagram A post shared by HBR Ascend (@hbrascend) Invisible marginalized identities can include sexuality, neurodivergence, invisible disabilities, and even race. In her article, “Should You Disclose an Invisible Marginalized Identity at Work?” author Dannie Lynn Fountain shares her experience as someone with several invisible marginalized identities. She discusses having to hide her queer identity in some instances for fear of judgment and ridicule from her colleagues. She writes that deciding to disclose an invisible marginalized identity can be a source of serious anxiety for many. Moreover, Fountain shares that disclosure is not a “one-time decision.” It is an “ongoing process and may occur again and again with changes in role, team, responsibilities, company, and more.” Allies should be aware that the decision to disclose an invisible identity is largely dependent on the situation and how safe the person feels. When it comes to disability, many people choose not to disclose. View this post on Instagram A post shared by HBR Ascend (@hbrascend) One billion people in the world live with a disability, including invisible disabilities or health conditions that are not apparent to an onlookers. Still, nearly 88% of employees don’t feel comfortable disclosing their disability at work due to of stigma and discrimination. Those who do disclose are likely to face social isolation, according to researcher Jack Tillotson and his colleagues in the article, “How to Make Workplaces More Inclusive For People with Invisible Disabilities.” Tillotson and his coauthors explain that people with invisible disabilities often struggle in silence. They are less likely to receive benefits or access to training and advancement, which can take a toll on their physical and mental health, affect their morale and productivity, and make them feel unsupported. In fact, the researchers found that “employers lack awareness about the needs of people with invisible disabilities and are often ill-prepared to provide the necessary support and accommodations.” 2) Educate yourself on the communities you want to support. Being an ally doesn’t mean that you’re all-knowing. It means that you’re willing to proactively educate yourself, especially when you don’t know something. Expanding your cultural, social, and racial awareness is one way to use your privilege in ways that benefit others. Acknowledge your own biases. View this post on Instagram A post shared by HBR Ascend (@hbrascend) Your education should begin by unlearning your own biases, and that starts by acknowledging that everyone has them. Often, our biases are unconscious — beliefs or stereotypes we have picked up throughout our lives, but that are ultimately harmful to marginalized groups, according to author Carmen Acton. In the article, “Are You Aware of Your Biases?,” Acton writes that “paying attention to our thoughts and examining our beliefs can help us identity assumptions we currently hold.” Here’s a list of questions that can help you uncover problematic thinking patterns and reflect on your long-held values and beliefs. Ask yourself: How do I react to people from different backgrounds? Do I hold stereotypes or assumptions about a particular social group? As a colleague or manager, do I acknowledge and leverage differences on my team? How would my team describe my leadership or communication style if they were sharing their experience of working with me to others? Do my words and actions actually reflect my intentions? In conversations, do I put myself in the shoes of the other person and empathize with their situation, even if I don’t relate to it? Learn about different identities. View this post on Instagram A post shared by HBR Ascend (@hbrascend) Allyship is a skill, and like all skills, acquiring it takes practice, according to authors Kenji Yoshino and David Glasgow. In their article, “How Much Do You Need to Know to Be an Ally?” they explain that allyship starts by learning about identities that are different from your own, and suggest starting with mainstream organizations aimed at educating the public. For instance, if you want to learn more about Sikhism, check out online resources from trusted sources like the Sikh Coalition. If you’re curious about intersex identities, the Intersex Campaign for Equality has a webpage with articles, book suggestions, and guidelines for allies. The authors also warn that verifying your sources, as opposed to blindly believing everything on the internet, is important. This may take more time and investment on your part, but the fact is, if you truly want to improve the conversations you’re having around a given topic, you must be willing to put in some effort. 3) Put your allyship to practice. Speak up when you encounter a bias. View this post on Instagram A post shared by HBR Ascend (@hbrascend) Say you notice a microaggression at work. How should you react? Expert Lydia X.Z. Brown says that speaking up is the most powerful thing you can do, especially if you have relative privilege or power in the situation. In the video, “Christine vs. Work: What You Need to Know About Ableism at Work,” Brown suggests saying something as simple as “Not cool,” or “That’s not funny” if you notice a colleague making an problematic joke. Figure out your go-to “ally phrase” ahead of time, so you can intervene quickly and act in time when you encounter or witness bias behavior. Model inclusive behaviors. View this post on Instagram A post shared by HBR Ascend (@hbrascend) Author Juliet Bourke, through the research in her article, “3 Small Ways to Be a More Inclusive Colleague,” found that peer relationships can have a significant impact on building more inclusive work cultures. Being acknowledged and appreciated by your peers at work can improve everyone’s performance, and help people feel seen and accepted. Here are three simple ways to be connect with your peers and create a psychologically safe team culture: Give your peers instrumental assistance, or do things that help your peers perform their tasks well. This includes providing them with information (if you have more access to it), making introductions to important stakeholders, or offering advice when you can. Engage in emotional bonding or socializing with peers. This includes joking and banter as well as building a space where people can vent and share their honest feelings. Use your body language to create closer work relationships. This includes walking to a meeting with your team members or inviting someone into a conversation when you notice they’re not included. Ask people what they want. View this post on Instagram A post shared by HBR Ascend (@hbrascend) One of the most important rules of being an ally is to treat others how they want to be treated. In practice, this translates into understanding the needs of the people around us before assuming what they want. In the article, “How to Make Workplaces More Inclusive For People with Invisible Disabilities,” Jack Tillotson and his colleagues found that creating an umbrella policy around inclusion without paying attention to an individual’s needs achieves very little. The best approach is to ask your team members or colleagues what accommodations would be helpful to them. If you’re a manager, this could be as simple as checking in regularly with all your team members and asking how they’re doing. You could say, “How have you been doing this quarter? I want to make sure you have all the resources you need to be successful at work. Can you tell me what support or accommodations you might need?” Embrace (inclusive) language as it evolves. View this post on Instagram A post shared by HBR Ascend (@hbrascend) Author N. Chloé Nwangwu in the article, “Why We Should Stop Saying ‘Underrepresented’” writes that using “underrepresented” to describe people from marginalized communities may be inaccurate. The term “traps us in a problem-solving posture that misses the problem entirely,” she explains. It encourages people in positional power, such as senior executives, to place marginalized social groups into very visible positions while simultaneously leaving those people at the mercy of individual and systemic biases. Nwangwu suggests an alternate term — “underrecognized” — is more productive. It gets at the real problem: a lack of recognition. While changing your language is a small intervention, it can be a powerful tool in shifting your mindset. According to Nwangwu, using a different terminology can put us in the right mindset and help us understand the ways in which we are complicit in perpetuating inequity and what we can do, at our individual level, to undo this systemic harm. . . . Being an ally isn’t easy or comfortable. It requires a lot of deliberate effort, action, and practice to understand how you can benefit those beyond yourself. The more curious, compassionate, and genuine you are in your efforts to unlearn your privilege, the easier it will become to show up for others.

A Guide to Becoming a Better Ally

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